As a wedding photographer, I love getting to photograph all the unique elements of a wedding day. The beautiful flowers, the personalized touches throughout the ceremony space and reception, their first dance as husband and wife, special moments between the couple.…all of these things make my heart happy 🙂 However, I know marriage means much more than what kind centerpieces are at the reception, or what color flowers are used.

A few days ago, Jereme and I celebrated 5 years of marriage! We were married at the cutest little chapel surrounded by our family and dear friends. It was the happiest day of my life, and I had a blast (I didn’t want it to be over!!) Since then, I’ve learned a lot more about my husband, myself, and marriage. In honor of celebrating 5 years of marriage,  I’m going to share 5 things I’ve learned since that day:

       Day 1: just the two of us                                                                   Year 5: Penelepe on the way 🙂

 

1. Communication is key. The first year of our marriage was spent long distance. Have you heard the saying, “The first year or two are the hardest”? Being long distance definitely made things harder, but taught us that great communication leads to trust, and having trust while living across the country from one another was really important.
2. Compliments and encouragement go a long way. After being with someone for so long, it can be easy to forget the small things. I’ve learned that the simple things, like saying, “Thank you for taking out the trash!”, “Wow, you smell nice!”, “Great job, I’m so proud of you!”, really helps with your everyday routine. It’s nice to hear that he acknowledges the little things I help with, and I do the same for him. “Please” and “Thank you” really can make a big difference.
3. Living away from family for so long has made us stronger. I know there are many couples out there who don’t live near family or friends due to their jobs or the military. We are on that list. Our whole marriage has been spent living in different states from our loved ones. We sure miss having our “normal” lives–seeing our parents for weekly dinners, hanging out with our siblings, and catching a movie with our friends. But having it be just the two of us year round, and even some holidays, has brought us closer and made us stronger as a couple. It’s taught us that we can get through hard times and happy moments with having just each other by our sides. Sometimes living away from family can be a blessing in disguise.
4. It’s important to have different hobbies, but more important to show interest in them. Jereme and I don’t have the same hobbies, but that’s ok! He loves video games, I love photography. He likes to watch football, I’d rather watch a chick flick. The thing I’ve learned is that even though we like different things, it’s important to show interest in your partner’s hobbies. At the beginning of our relationship, it would drive me wild when my husband would play his video games every night! Why? Because it was something I didn’t do or understand. It didn’t interest me, and so I thought it was simply a “silly” hobby. Now I’ve learned that this hobby makes him happy, he’s enjoyed it since his childhood, and is a great communication device for his friends and family back home (since they all play together online). I now show interest by asking questions about upcoming games and spend time with him while he’s playing. And he does the same for me: helps me with photography questions, encourages me while editing, and supports what I do. And he’ll watch the occasional chick flick with me 😉
5. Our marriage is the most important relationship to me. Marriage is not all lovey-dovey and kisses. It is made up of compromise, ups and downs, difficult decisions, milestones, and special moments. The number one thing I have learned in these 5 years is that our marriage is the most important relationship to me. We work on our marriage every day. I’m not talking about the, “Oh…marriage is such hard work!” kind of work. I’m talking about putting effort. Listening. Taking initiative. Sacrificing. Being each other’s best friend.

 

No marriage is perfect, and I know we still have MANY things to learn and many more life changes ahead, but these 5 years have definitely taught me things I didn’t know before. I’m so lucky to share my life with him, and I’m looking forward to learning more! Married for 5, 10, 20 or longer years? I’d LOVE to hear your advice and tips!! 🙂

Thanks to Bethanne Arthur Photography for our recent maternity photos! The one above is one of my favorites 🙂