It’s 12:30 am. My 4-month-old will be waking up in a few hours for her middle of the night feeding. I’m exhausted. I’m moody. But still…I always find myself scrolling through my Facebook & Instagram feeds right before bed. I see all the gorgeous photos and other artists being ‘busy’.

The perfectly posed bride with her perfect expression. A gorgeous engagement session at the location I’ve been dying to shoot at with the most amazing sunlight. Someone posting what seems to be their 100th wedding this year, while my wedding season hasn’t even started yet. Seeing someone being published AGAIN, yet I’m still awaiting approval for my first. And then comes the dreaded downhill spiral of comparison.

I’m not good enough.

I’m not smart enough.

I can’t do that.

I don’t have time.

They’re so much better.

This can make you say mean things in your head to feel better, sometimes. Oh…well they use Photoshop waaaaay too much to get that image beautiful. That has to be a PS action/overlay to get that look. They have a lot of connections in the area, of course they’re booking a lot. They’re popular, of course they’re booking at fabulous venues. They’re cheaper, of course they’re busy.

If I’ve thought this before, I know I’m not the only one. As artists, we put our heart and soul into our work. We take pride in what we do. So, of course, a little comparison and insecurity will creep up on you, especially now that everywhere you go is saturated with photographers, both new and veteran.

But don’t let it.

Stop it.

When you get deep in that spiral of nasty comparison, just stop and think…why did you freaking start in the first place? It wasn’t to get followers on social media. It wasn’t for the likes. It wasn’t for people’s praise and attention. It wasn’t to post to Facebook or Instagram as soon as the session was over to get immediate confirmation that you did a good job.

We started in photography for the love of the art. The love of capturing that sweet moment of two new parents during their first “family of 3” photos. The smiles and laughs I see when they’re hoisting their little one in the air. The tears of joy as a groom reads a love note from his soon-to-be-bride, moments before he says I do. The feeling I get when I’m the one able to freeze that moment in time for them to enjoy and reminisce about years later.

All that negativity takes away from the joy and happiness photography brings to my life. I have to stop myself from the self-loathing, from the negativity, from the comparison.  I have to say…you’re doing great. You’re enough. You’re doing amazing things.
The only person you need to compare yourself to is the earlier version of yourself.

When you stop comparing yourself to others, and look at how far you’ve come, the changes you’ve made, the goals you’ve met, the accomplishments you’ve achieved…that negativity and insecurity washes away.

So, if you find yourself scrolling through your feed at 1 am, comparing and self-loathing, just remember WHY you started in the first place. WHY you chose to become an artist. WHY you love what you do.

In the end, that’s what it’s all about. Comparison truly is the thief of joy.